


watch you unraveling

by darlingria



Category: Pieces Of String - Gowland
Genre: 3am gayness, M/M, Post canon, ed's pulled his shit together (mostly), harry... might overthink things sometimes, like... way post-canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 06:59:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14889797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingria/pseuds/darlingria
Summary: Sometimes it feels like they're talking in circles. (Harry can't sleep)





	watch you unraveling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jean_grantaire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jean_grantaire/gifts).



It’s been a good day. His students’ essays were all excellent, he hasn’t fallen asleep in the English office in a week and Ed’s been in a good mood since the wedding — he didn’t so much as flinch at being greeted with a kiss at his door, hasn’t all week. It’s been a _good day_. So when he ends up flat on his back after, according to the blinking _02:17_ displayed on the alarm by his bedside, tossing and turning and tugging at the duvet for three hours, he really only has himself to blame.

 

He sighs and rolls back to face Ed, curls his legs tightly against his chest and wedges a section of the balled up duvet into the space between them. It’s only when he’s finished fussing with the blankets that he realises that Ed’s eyes are on him — and that, _great_ , he’s woken his boyfriend, on top of everything else. Guilt twists in his stomach.

 

“Er. Good morning?” he tries. Ed exhales heavily.

 

“Talk to me,” He says, weary like he’s done this a million times before. Harry doesn’t know whether Ed _remembering_ this makes him feel better or worse, or maybe a bit of both.

 

“It’s nothing.” He grimaces, then, because he doesn’t like lying to his boyfriend, especially when they’ve only _just_ decided to give their relationship another shot, corrects himself: “It’s stupid.”

 

“Alright, then…” Ed’s too tired to manage a smile, but his voice curls warm around the words. “Go to sleep.”

 

“Mm.”

 

But he can’t, he can’t, he can’t, because what might seem stupid when Ed’s voice is playing in his ears is a whole lot bigger in the silence, and the dark whispers it back to him as he thinks it, over and over again, and he can’t help but think that he’s thinking in circles.

 

“It’s just…” He grasps for the words, but his mind fogs and they slip away, scatter to the corners of the room like air. “It’s just, last time—”

 

Ed winces. Harry offers an apologetic grimace, but presses on before the thought escapes him:

 

“— _last time_ , I left things in such a bad place with— with your mother…”

 

“ _That’s_ what you’re worried about.” And there’s something comforting about Ed’s incredulous tone, embarrassing as it is, stupid as it makes him feel. “God, Harry. All this mess, and _you’re_ worried about _her_.”

 

“All this— is there something else I should be worried about?” As he speaks he’s dimly aware that he’s not _like_ this, not this incoherent panicky mess, but it’s _02:21_ in the morning, and if he’s messed up Ed’s family for him he’ll never forgive himself.

 

To his relief, Ed’s answering sigh is infused with affection. “No, of _course_ not, I just meant… well, she let _Gemma_ spend every day at your house, didn’t she?”

 

“Not willingly! Not without the— the _face_ and the _voice_ every time she called, like she wanted me to stop existing just to spare her the trouble of actually killing me. Not that she actually wanted to kill me,” he adds hastily, “I’m sure, because she’s probably really nice under all of the—” he gestures vaguely, like that can make up for the words that won’t come together in his head, flops back over onto his back and tangles agitated fingers into his hair.

 

“Oh, she _really_ isn’t.” A dry edge cuts Ed’s words, the ends crinkled with bitter amusement. He must be waking up. “Anyway, she missed you.”

 

Ed pauses thoughtfully for a second, and the words burst out of him all at once, just the way he’s heard them all night long. _Have I been awful to you?_ “Ed, I practically _told_ her she was awful!”

 

And yeah, Ed is definitely waking up now, because he actually _laughs_ at that, low and rich and warm. Even in the gloom he’s blinding. “Well, she was, wasn’t she. You’re the one who told me to stand up to her.” Harry can’t quite resist the urge to reach out and cup Ed’s cheek in one hand, feel the pull of that smile for himself. He hums doubtful agreement, interrupted by a yawn.

 

“I did, didn’t I?”

 

“Yeah, and now you’re being daft.” Harry yawns again in his silence. “Sleep. You look _exhausted_.”

  
“Mm.” Ed’s right. Of course Ed’s right -- he’s always had a way of making Harry’s fears sound silly at… _02:29_ am. He lifts himself up just enough to lean over and kiss Ed’s cheek, and Ed presses their lips together in response. They lie just like that, limbs entwined, exchanging slow sweet kisses until they fall asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> wow a whole like 2 fics in this tag,,, one for each member of the fandom!  
> anyway thank u al for helping with a paragraph when i got stuck & didn't actually know it ily


End file.
